I miss you, but i don't miss you

I know i'm not making sense.. but over the past day or two, i've been missing him.

My ex.

I can't explain it, cos even just a week ago i'd not thought of him like this or even wondered what he was up to or if he missed me.. nothing.  Why now?  Is it that i'm feeling lonely and vulnerable?  I hope not.

What a time for such madness.  I try to believe that everything happens for a reason.. for a good reason.  I wonder if the reason for this happening is because i'm supposed to contact him?  I thought about it fairly often for the past few days, ever since i've started missing him.

I think I need a new outlet.  I saw an advertisement in the paper about art classes - Watercolour painting classes.  I also saw an advertisement for Ballroom dancing!  I've always wanted to learn.  This might be my chance!  Maybe I need to do something new.  One of these things.  Also, get back into my french lessons.  I still want to go away for a while.  We'll see about that one when the time comes though.. SAT's first.

I miss him. :(
I wonder what he's doing.. besides sleeping right now.  I wonder if he's found someone new and is happy.. happier..?  I know that I probably don't want to know, but i'm too curious to not wonder.  It makes me a little sad and upset to think about it though.

I've started another countdown.. to his birthday.  I shall contact him then.  Nothing big.  I think I may be willing to open some line of communication then.  I see him online all the time, I never start a chat.. neither does he.  It makes me wonder who he's online chatting to every day.  Makes me wonder a lot of things that I should care less about.

Why me?!

Source: http://francesfakesit.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-miss-you-but-i-dont-miss-you.html