Technology's Revenge

My work requires me to have a laptop. Unavoidable as I currently work on product releases. Fortunately, my company is fairly generous in that you can utilize your laptop for limited personal use so long as it doesn't interfere with work.

Since my personal laptop has several issues and often a lot of trouble functioning (it is a grandpa in tech standards since it is a few years old), this work laptop scenario works just fine for me. However, I try to be responsible and limit my use of my work laptop for personal when off the clock. You know - check email, check facebook, check various accounts but nothing to big and certainly nothing I wouldn't want them to track.

This being said, as I was checking items one Sunday, a message popped up from one of the icons on my toolbar. Seeing as how I wasn't connected to the network, I didn't pay a great deal of attention assuming it was a notice that an update was scheduled. These things pop up frequently and get updated whenever I dock back in at work. So without much further thought, I closed the computer and hit the hay.

The next morning, I arrived at work about 7:15 am, docked my computer, logged in and promptly received the same message. Only this time, I took a moment to read it. To my surprise it was a message saying that my computer was infected. I tried opening files and programs but no such luck. Great. My computer has a virus on a day that the FDA is back for an audit and I need to be able to get into programs at a moment's notice. Perfect. Even better that I was suffering from a horrendous cold, could not speak...seems I had passed on my germs!

So I call the IT help line to put in a ticket for someone to check it out. Which means that I have to call the group (outsourced to India) for them to notify the IT staff in the building across the street from me in Los Angeles. So by 7:30 am, I have placed a high priority ticket and asked my cube farm neighbors if there is any work I can help them with - even manual labor. Anything to keep me busy.

I begin helping them and have yet to hear anything from IT about an hour and a half later. I return to my desk and mid-conversation with my cube neighbors I wake up my computer which I had left as is with the error for when IT showed up. I log in and glance at the screen only to do a horrified double take - THERE IS PORN POPPING UP ON MY COMPUTER NOW ALONG WITH THE VIRUS MESSAGE! Naturally, I freak out, much to the amusement of my neighbors, and slam the computer shut. I promptly call IT again and ask why I haven't been contacted yet! They assure me that someone will call in the next few minutes.

Thirty minutes or so later, the IT guy shows up with another guy whom he introduces, tells me it is his first day on the job and he will be helping me. I then share with the guy exactly what happened to which he laughs and begins to check out my computer...making sure that it is facing away from my coworkers. Naturally, he has to take it with him for the day to fix and off he goes with my dirty dirty computer.

Late in the afternoon, I receive a call that it is finally ready after removing malware from my profile but unfortunately since it is the new guy's first day, he doesn't have access to enter campus to return my computer to me and is waiting for the main IT guy. I offer to meet him in the street if necessary so that I can work on my own projects once again but he has to check out with the main guy first. A few minutes later, the main IT guy calls me and says he will meet me with my freshly cleansed laptop. So off I skip to get my baby back!

I wander over to the rendez-vous point and await the IT guy. After a few moments, he walks up with my laptop. As he hands it over to my very eager arms, he shares with me that he had to recreate my account password. Also that if I want to reset my password, I will have to wait 24 hours to do so because his account is now locked. At my puzzled "okaaaay" response, he shares with me that because of his work last week, he hadn't had a chance to complete some online compliance trainings so they had locked his account. Since he worked on my computer, mine was now locked as well by association.

All I could do was laugh, thank him, and return to my desk