Top Ten Reason Why Divorce Sucks...for me, that is:

1.  BabyGirl's bff isn't right around the corner anymore.  She's a 15 minute drive away, but it seems like much longer.

2.  I have no say in the filter of my ex.  He still attends family dinners and events but with an even lighter filter than when we were married.

3.  I get to listen to endless options of his on match.com and hear him vet which ones are acceptable or not based on age, hair color, breast size, etc.  Seriously?

4.  My ex has the kids each Tuesday, which is great and gives my fiance and I an awesome date night but I have to get to bed early because I have to pick the kids up before he goes to work (which is a 15 minute drive since we've moved). 

5.  I always feel guilty when we take the kids to the latest kid movies or kid festivals in town because those could have been opportunities for the kids' dad to spend time with them.

6.  I feel guilty that the kids spend the majority of their time at their dad's house watching tv or watching him work in the yard because he just can't do it all himself and refuses to hire a house cleaner or a yard service. 

7.  I can't always be there to re-direct my ex's train of thought when he makes statements as to his willingness to pay for fake boobs for babygirl when she turns 21, or when he says one of our 15 year old babysitters gained 30 pounds and that's not good.  Cause babygirl thinks she looks awesome and is now pinching her tummy trying to decide if she's fat.

8.  My kids are constantly exposed to a rotating door of random women who are attractive on the outside and attracted to the money, but may or may not like kids and could possibly care less about the quality time they will get to spend with my kids.  Babygirl loves crafts...does she know that? 

9.  I still, in a way, have love for my ex.  The love of a friend who doesn't want to see her friend get hurt.  I hate watching him search for this perfect person that surely will never exist for him.  I strived to be as perfect as I could be and yet it was never enough.  And I mean, I REALLY tried.  I just so wish he would re asess his needs/desires. 

10.  Top Ten reason why divorce sucks:  no matter how hard you try your kids may love their future stepdad, your dad may love his future son in law, SOMEONE in your family/close group of friends will let you down in the most unexpected way and that will REALLY hurt.