Future shocked

Saturday night – oh what a night! The House of Usher Reunion. I’d made plans a while ago to go with Anna and Rob but when they said they were picking me up at 9:15pm, I was like “that’s TOO early!” And I was so wrong. We got to the venue shortly after 10pm and it was packed already.

This was a fantastically fun night all around. I ran into and chatted with so many people, many I haven’t seen in a while. I found it difficult to leave the dance floor once the dancing really took off, which was probably for the best since it kept me away from the bar! There were so many people that really dressed up that night. I saw a lot of old skool looks. They really turned it out and it was sublime! There was probably some drama somewhere, or at the very least hostile undercurrents going on between various frenemies or whatever but alas, I wasn’t paying attention. Too busy reconnecting with people, dancing and hanging out and chatting so there is no dish to report! Booo!

Over the years I’ve heard certain types of individuals make snide remarks a bout gothy events like this. They affix their superiority halos and play the ‘I’m so above and beyond and moved on from all that” card (which actually reveals something completely different about that person other than what they are actually trying to sell us).

I’m referring to the “snooty, noses in the air” types. Those people. You know the types.

Maybe these people had a bad time back in those scene days. Or maybe they feel no real connection any more to the music, the aesthetics, the people or other trappings. Maybe they don’t want to be reminded of how old they are (LOL, PROBABLY) or reminded of the things they chose to leave behind for the lives they are now living.

(They could also be just not very much fun any more. They are perhaps so desperately busy clinging to their latest persona, their latest incarnation of “THIS is who I am now” that it is necessary for them to disavow ever being a part of that scene. And it seems equally necessary for them to cast aspersions on anyone who chooses to revisit it, for whatever reason, in whatever capacity.)

I don’t know about everyone, but most of the people I know who were attending either the Friday or Saturday (or both) reunion nights weren’t trying to recapture the past. They weren’t bemoaning the loss of that scene due to shifting lives or shifting times. I doubt very many were consumed by excessive sentimental nostalgia, except for maybe fleeting moments. They were there to dress up, dance, drink, have fun, reconnect, enjoy some memories in a shared group context.

There are those that move forward with life by attempting to jettison as much as possible about their pasts. They do so with force and fury, often desiring to cut all ties or connections to who “they once were.” They reinvent themselves but don’t wish to have any sort of cross-reference to the past in their latest persona. They adapt to and fine-tune their current “look” and absorb themselves into their recently-adopted era or scene or interests with almost a demented focus.

This is a sad and persnickety lockdown. I guess that sort of lockdown works for some people but I think that it ages a person more when they try and diminish their past (and the past you shared with others) with such belligerence. And I don’t necessarily mean “ages” in the purely physical sense.

I notice that those who are the most snide about events like the House of Usher Reunion are the ones who would most benefit from a little self-directed contemplation about the very past from which they are trying to escape. Lessons unlearned get repeated, regardless of your latest hairstyle, aesthetic, scene or taste in music.

A quote from a master of quips speaks to many things about the aging process, both obvious and subtle, and is a quote of which I am particularly fond:

“Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses.” – Oscar Wilde