NEWS FROM WORLD: An Inspiring talk about FORGIVENESS

To err is human, to forgive divine ---Alexander Pope

We must have compassion to forgive others and ourselves

Anger is a punishment use inflict unto ourselves due to the mistakes of others ---Master Cheng Yen (生气是拿别人的错误来惩罚自己-證嚴法师)

There are 3 types of persons 1)Those who carve on rock (take revenge) 2)those scratch on the sand 3)those who write on water (the are the wisest as they forgive and forget easily)

Hatred is never appeased by hatred. It is only by love.This is an eternal law---Dhammapada V5

Forgive and let it go

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

For a beautiful South Africa, there are 2 words--goodness and forgiveness---Nelson Mandela who was imprison for 27 years

What goes around comes around, let the universe decide.The law of kamma will take care of it,hence don't need to get angry or seek revenge. just forgive and let go.

The Tsunami in 2005 has taught us that :1) actually we need very little to survive.2}What is the point to accumulate so many possession?

If we react in kindness/compassion.Instead of anger, we will always be alright.Eg we were overtook by other driver without signal light. If we thought 'oh, pity guy, he must be rushing for some emergency cases. or be thankful that our car was not knocked by him etc.

The Cookie Thief

This is to a scenario encouraging us not to rush into judgments.

A woman was waiting at an airport one night With several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shop Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see That the man beside her as bold as could be Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene. She munched cookies and watched the clock As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by Thinking "If I wasn't so nice I'd blacken his eye". With each cookie she took he took one too And when only one was left she wondered what he'd do. With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half as he ate the other She snatched it from him and thought "Oh brother, this guy has some nerve and he's also rude Why he didn't even show any gratitude".
She had never known when she had been so galled and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. She boarded the plane and sank in her seat Then sought her book which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes:
"If mine are here" she moaned with despair "Then the others were his and he tried to share"
"Too late to apologize she realized with grief" That she was the rude one, the ungrateful, the thief

Andrew Matthew in his book 'Being Happy' and ' Follow your heart', mentioned that we can't change others, we can only changed ourselves.

Don't harbour resentment, but do not be a fool either.Learn the lesson and let go of the hatred,

Why is it hard for someone to forgive? It is due to attachment to our own ego. We only think of ourselves. We think we are very important. To solve it must seek first to understand by putting ourselves in other person's shoes.Ask ourselves why he do this to me?

How to forgive ourselves? 1)repent,but do not dwell on it 2)repair the harm done (be proactive) 3)determine not to do it again 4)remedial behavior is to do more good.Eg good deeds=water, bad deeds =salt. If we add few spoon of salt to a cup of water, the water will taste very salty.Adding more water will dilute the salty taste.So, doing good deeds will 'dilute' bad kamma, as we really don't know how much bad deeds we have done during our past lives!

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” === Mahatma Ghandi

Richard Carlson (1911-2006) taught us to be more accepting and less judgemental in his books, don't sweat the small stuff.

See them as tiny as infants or 100 year old adults

Ask yourself, does it matter you 1 year from now?

Choose being kind over being right & you'll always be all right. Eg If your car was banged by someone from behind, how would you react?.Obviously is other's fault. if your reaction is ;"Oh my goodness, look at the damage on your beautiful car.What can I do for you?", the defensiveness and fear of the other driver will disappear.

Byron Katie in her book 'loving what is and 'the work' .The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It’s a way to understand what’s hurting you, and to address the cause of your problems with clarity.
In its most basic form, The Work consists of four questions and your turnarounds. For example, your statement might be “[Name] doesn't listen to me.” Find someone in your life about whom you have had that thought, take that statement and put it up against the four questions and turnarounds of The Work.

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn around the concept you are questioning, and don't forget to find at least three genuine, specific examples of each turnaround.

THE 90/10 PRINCIPLE

Author: Stephen Covey

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction.

There are those who don't realised that 1 day we must all die. Those who realise this will quickly settle their quarrel.

This is notes taken down from inspiring talk by Sis Chan Kah Yin in her talk at BUBs recently.