Life is confusing and movies are misleading

So....not sure where to begin, how to begin. Let me warn you I am going to complain today. But, life is confusing and people are confusing too! Or maybe I just get confused easily. I don't know. I am confused! For those who do not know it, life is very tiring for the confused because you are always trying to figure something out. You are trying to figure out what is it that you want for yourself, what is it that others want of you, what is right, what is necessary, and what is it that needs no justification. It is like solving small riddles each time and it gets exhausting. To top it all there are people who like placing complicated riddles before you. And that really exasperates me! I would not care two sticks about people I don't care about. But as it so happens there are a good number of people I do care about and I don't like it when my confusion pertains to these people. In these cases I go to great lengths to resolve it and it really drains me out. I wonder if I confuse people so much.... I hope not!

I think a large part of this confusion about understanding people stems from the fact that different people have different styles of communication. I find it really difficult to understand any style of communication besides my own though I am not sure what my style is either. But I will say this with some conviction. Very few people feel the need to communicate accurately and fewer are able to do so. Or maybe they think they are communicating perfectly and it is me who does not understand. Can't be sure about this! But, all in all communication is definitely a challenge if not a problem amongst us adults. I don't expect everyone to communicate perfectly but at least they should be aware that they do not communicate properly and realize the difficulties that can arise out of that. That is all I actually ask for. I realize it is impractical but that is what I feel anyhow. It would save people like me so much confusion.....

Slight change of topic now. I saw a movie today. It was about a woman in search of herself and what not. It was a highly misleading movie in general but it left me a message by not really giving any specific message.Through the whole movie no one's behaviour made any sense to me. It made sense to everyone in the movie though because all the characters understood each other really well. Now, I believe I am a pretty understanding person and understand unusual people and unusual emotions fairly well. But.....the characters in this movie made no sense to me. I mean I understood what the woman was going through and stuff like that. But the way she dealt with it and the way everyone communicated was not easy for me to understand. Problems were created where none existed and then people went to great lengths to solve them. Inexplicable situations made people happy or sad. At the end of the movie I realized that no one had any idea what they were feeling or doing! They had no idea in the beginning and neither did they towards the end! It was then that I realized that real people in real life are like that too! This was a ground-breaking insight for me. I could have been subconsciously or maybe even consciously aware of this. But, today I was convinced.

I mean I like to believe that I know what I want and I know how to ask for it. But, maybe I do not. Maybe people do not really want to confuse me. They just are being themselves. They do not know what it is all about either. Maybe some do not even care. They just do what they feel like doing. I must admit I am a tad jealous of these people. Sure I do what I want to but I have this inexplicable need to either justify whatever I am doing or put it in the box of things that "Need no Explanation". But, it all has to be labeled and boxed and classified. It takes a lot of energy and effort that I am beginning to see could be better utilized. So, all in all watching this movie was not such a bad idea.

Well, I am not sure how good a job of communicating I have done tonight. Not sure if I was able to establish a link between why confusion exists and why we have no clue what we are trying to do but just so I am clear...what I am trying to say is- No one has any frigging idea why they are doing what they are doing most of the time even if they think they do. They do not do this on purpose. It is beyond the realm of human ability to be absolutely clear about these things. Try not to take people too seriously and take yourself even less seriously. I believe it will make us less confused and more happy. I think I had decided in the past not to take myself seriously but I think I had forgotten about it. Today was a good reminder.

I hope I will remember this insight this time around (I have a tendency to forget my own realizations and sometimes I need to re-realize things for them to have sufficient impact). Since I have blogged about it hopefully I will remember it for a longer time at least. Its short term benefit is that I am going to be less confused for a while and I think it will bring be great joy and relief in the next few weeks to come.