Things that smack you when you are not ready

In 2008 our twins Estimated Induced Due Date was 12-9-08.  The Sunday following at church two things happened that just about killed me.  I mean the ache in my heart that felt like a heartache type of hurting, not just emotional, but physical also.  The first was that someone in our church became a grandparent.  The tradition is that when a child is born to a family in our church there is a flower per child that are displayed that Sunday and then the pastor announces all the details.  So that Sunday as I stared at the flower that was up their for someone else's child I broke down realizing that there will never be flowers up there for my twins.  They were never acknowledge.  That Sunday was also the Sunday that the children did their Christmas program.  As I sat there listening to the children and musing over the kids I realized I will never know if one or both of them would like to sing.  Would one be serious and the other one the goofy one that makes everyone laugh.  That was when the chest pains started. 

So, this past Sunday I did not teach and as I sat there in the pew they did a baby dedication.  It smacked me out of the blue.  We never get to dedicate our babies. 

I have no idea why I am in such a funk, but I have been in such a funk for the last week.  I am going on week two of this though.  It is getting old, I don't want to be like this. 

I hope to shake this soon. 

TTFN,
Pez

Source: http://givingupadream.blogspot.com/2010/08/things-that-smack-you-when-you-are-not.html