It is that time of year again. The time where the sun sets a little earlier and the crickets crick a little louder. When I start to regret vacations that went unplanned and trips to the beach that were too few. The time when I look at Tom with big, sad puppy dog eyes and whimper, "Do I have to?" And he instantly responds, "Yes." It's always hard to get back into the school routine, it's even harder now. Tommy is on the brink of a developmental explosion- I know it! The 'yea' epidemic has spread and today he started pointing at a bell in his picture book and exclaiming, "Ding! Ding!" Tonight he was pointing with PURPOSE in his picture book- pointing with ONE finger and because he wanted me to name said animal and make a noise associated with the animal. His favorite seems to be the donkey. Perhaps he is smarter than I thought and is really just trying to let me know he thinks I'm a jackass.
Tomorrow I head to my new classroom. A new classroom in a new school where I unloaded 16 boxes last week. A new classroom that will be filled with new students and new parents and a new beginning for me. One other new beginning is that Tommy will enter one day of daycare- the details are not ironed out yet but most likely it will be in home daycare with someone I know fairly well. It kills me to have to make this move- the money we work our asses off for going towards someone else getting to stay home with their kids and take care of mine as well. It just doesn't seem fair. All of those new milestones that we've worked so hard on and worried quite deeply about- they will be shared with a stranger. And then I think of what we will be paying for that one day and....how do people afford that full time? And with more than one child? It just doesn't make sense but it makes me all the more wish I was closer to home because I know that then I wouldn't even be faced with this decision.
Unfortunately, it just isn't in the cards right now. Our house seems to be worth less and less with every house that sells for nothing around here and the thought of going through re-certification in another state and the job hunt in such a competitive field where there aren't jobs right now anyway really makes the decision that we will be in Connecticut for longer than I recently thought. Luckily, besides the not being close to my family I do love it here. What is not to love? In this state we have great friends, great shopping, great beaches, great transportation, great schools- and the family, well they are just a short drive away. And do I really need anyone besides my baby and my hubby? The sadness I feel in getting ready to say good-bye when I head back to work reminds me that, no, I don't.
We've had such fun this summer- the three of us- and even more of the summer with just the two of us. We took countless walks and mowed the lawn about a zillion times. We explored new parks and the children's museum. We took a fantastic family vacation and our first major road trip. We spent very special time with Auntie Karen which sealed an important bond for Tommy that was long in the works. We partied. We had play dates and a weekend just for mommy. We laughed A LOT. This time was special and since I don't know if there will be any more summers with just me and Tommy I hate to let it go, but because there is no other choice and because there is often only bigger and better ahead... I guess it is time to move on.
Source: http://thegradychronicles.blogspot.com/2010/08/ahhh-summeryour-days-are-numbered.html
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